Am I cool enough?

|   Jeans C/O – Simply Be   |   Jumper – H&M   |   Trainers – Converse   |

I am not cool.

What I mean is, I can barely eat anything without dropping it down myself, I seem to have magnetic attraction to knocking things over, and one of my favourite moments of the week is listening to The Archers’ podcast on my long commute to work from Cornwall on a Monday morning. #partyanimal

See, not your typical cool kid.

At school I wasn’t cool, but happy in my “friends with anyone and everyone” circle. I was an irritatingly brainy child, who also did sport, music and drama, so I guess my Venn diagram of possible acquaintances was wide. I’ve always loved doing things and I hate being bored.

Looking back at my fashion choices, I made some bold moves- from my rainbow corduroy tie-dyed flairs, to the many varieties of poncho. But did that make us uncool, or was it just the fashion then? Is it only me that thinks teenagers now are so. much. cooler. than we ever were?!
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My choice of outfits changed dramatically when I went to college. A preppy sixth form called for a wardrobe solely consisting of denim minis, Ugg boots, striped fitted skirts and a gilet. Yep, for the first time without having to wear a strict school uniform, I seemed to join the crowd and just wear a uniform of our own creation. As if, by looking like identical we could be labelled en masse as COOL.

Then, when you go to a university on a campus no one has heard of, in a tiny town by the sea it’s somewhat a relief to find that no one is particularly “cool”. A mixture of arty farty creative types, those who were pretty much there for the surf and a handful of scientific, environmentalists, it made for an interesting few years. My clothes relaxed into a melange of flip flops, leggings and oversized vintage jumpers, with the occasional wetsuit thrown in for good measure. In a sea of people trying to stand out and make a statement, the effect was purely that no one did. You could get away with anything in Falmouth, because no one seemed to bat an eyelid if you were cool or not.

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In the years since, I’m still trying to find my signature “style”. It varies now that sometimes I am required to smarten up for corporate events and the like. Lucky that my dress code at work is reasonably relaxed, I still try to maintain some items I just wear at home. My ideal winter weekend outfit is a comfy pair of skinny jeans, a relaxed slouchy tee or woolly jumper, and converse. It’s either that, or my paint splattered torn DIY outfit.

Practical comes first when you’re renovating.

However, more recently I’ve tried to make more conscious choices. Buying better quality, but less of it. Having a really good clear out of everything that hasn’t been worn. I won’t go as far to say I’ve gone down the minimalist route, but I’ve tried to think about what I’m buying.

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That still doesn’t stop me feeling like a flailing moose on rollerskates whenever anyone points a camera at me. Evidence that even having a seemingly cool hobby like blogging does not make you look effortless without practice. Somebody teach me to pose please? I mean, seriously, what do you do with your hands and face?!

In an effort to push myself out of my comfort zone this year, for Christmas I chose some leopard print boots rather than the brown leather I originally had considered. I also received two velvet dresses. I’ve been trying out some lipsticks, and can now do multiple makeup looks rather than just my winged eyeliner staple. Blimey, if you’d asked me a year ago if I’d be the proud owner of these ripped hem jeans with studded pockets, I’d have laughed that I’m really not cool enough.

Yet maybe I am.

Maybe we all are.

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***This post was in collaboration with Simply Be, but all opinions are my own***