LIFESTYLE

How I came to meet A. Husband

On 28th February 2016
45 Comments

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Alice. She had a happy life, enjoying everything that university threw at her, but she had had some tough luck with all the wrong men, had been single for 2 years and 4 months and this made her miserable…

Ok, so it’s not exactly a fairytale, and I can’t complain too much as in my quest for the right person I’ve met some really interesting and lovely people, most of whom I still speak to and spend time with, but nothing had ever been right.

In a conversation with one of my best friends one evening in early February 2013, we were discussing men (of course) and our lack of luck in the love department. Sally made the bold and perfect statement that I needed at that time by asking “but what do you WANT, Alice? What is it that you’re actually looking for?” And my response?

“I want to find a husband”

It was then that I decided conventional meeting people evidently hadn’t worked so far and I’d delve into a terrifying new prospect for me- online dating. Now I’d always been one of those people that assumed everyone that chose online dating was a middle aged, desperate, twice divorcee woman, or a paedophile. Yes, I had a narrowed view of this form of finding love, but that was soon changed.

On 13 February (no judging, I really was feeling desperate) I signed into Plenty Of Fish and spent the subsequent next few hours ignoring my essay and carefully constructing my profile. This is no mean feat, trust me! Bloggers will liken it to your “about” page, but this is ten times as bad. How do you “sell” yourself to potential suitors with the right balance of friendly, fun, flirty and interesting information without sounding arrogant, desperate, needy or creepy? And what photos do you put on that show what a sassy, confident, wonderful and bloody gorgeous person you are. All questions that required a LOT of deliberation. In the end, I was actually pretty happy with the outcome (even if I say so myself) and one thing I can vouch for – it got good feedback!

I actually really enjoyed my experience on POF. For one, I couldn’t believe how many people were on there that could potentially be exactly what I was looking for! Filled with a surge of confidence in my decision, I spent that evening browsing through pages of potentials, wondering how you start off the conversation. The first person that caught my eye was a blonde blue eyed undergrad from Plymouth who was into sailing, so I sent him a message about gig rowing, and how much I loved the sea, and how I’ve always wanted to learn to sail. Seemed to be ok. The next guy was tall dark and handsome and very fond of cooking and baking – perfect! We ended up chatting about cheesecake. I also had some great conversations with navy boys, a farmer, a PhD student studying some sort of engineering and a professional diver who was messaging me from the Bahamas. So far, really quite good.

Obviously, there were the crap messages from weirdos who think you’re going to jump straight into bed with them- NO thanks! And the rubbish conversations starters of “Hey babe, I like your profile picture” If you can’t read my blurb and strike up a conversation about one of my interests, rather than a generic copied and pasted message, I’m not going to respond. Also, if you’re a) topless, b) holding a beer can or c) in a group photo as your main picture, I’m seriously not interested. Soz boys.

ANYWAY, I’m rambling. Onto the main story. I’d been asked out on about 4 dates by various people I’d been chatting to, and the first was with the mysterious blonde that had so caught my eye when I signed up. We’d been chatting pretty much incessantly since the day I signed up, firstly through POF, then through texts too. He genuinely seemed really sweet and charming, helped by a handful of shared interests. About a week later, we agreed to meet up, him even suggesting that he’d come to Falmouth to see me. Although I was pretty convinced he wasn’t going to abduct me, it still made me nervous, so I made sure we were friends on Facebook first – that looked legit – it’s got to be hard to mock up a profile with 1000 odd friends and 500 or so photos of the same person in! We’d also agreed to meet at 11am at the train station. Public place = good, my friend was stationed in a nearby cafe with her mum and granny = good, planned escape route = good. I was all set, had made myself beautiful and had a tummy full of butterflies.

The issue?

He arrived about 3 hours late!

The excuse was either VERY thought out, or actually genuine. As he’d been leaving his house for the train station, a homeless drunk man had been having a fit on his doorstep which then involved him calling an ambulance, giving him a clean pair of trousers, getting the man a cup of tea (once he’d stopped fitting) and sitting with him until the paramedics arrived.

Our morning coffee date soon turned into an afternoon date, but when he stepped off the train, all I could think was “thank goodness he looks like his pictures!” We nervously hugged and headed off to Gylly beach cafe where he offered to go and buy us hot chocolate and (now here’s a good sign) cake. After the initial awkwardness, conversation flowed very easily and I soon relaxed. It was a sunny crisp winter day so we walked up to Pendennis castle, chatting away and enjoying the view. I was really hoping for confirmation that he was also feeling as elated as I was that it was going so well, so on the way into town afterwards made the bold first move and held his hand, shocker!

I’d suggested to warm up out of the cold we could pop into my favourite pub, Beerwolf and while away the early evening with pints of local cider (which, being the modern woman I am, I insisted on buying!)

The amusing thing was that we both were keen for the date to carry on, and there were trains late into the evening, so we decided to go for dinner. Both being students, when I suggested looking for vouchers online he laughed, saying he’d been thinking the same thing but didn’t want to look cheap.

The last train left Falmouth town at 9.32pm and we were sat hand in hand after dinner waiting for it on the platform when his mum rang. She had lived in Falmouth for a while, and had assumed her son was on his way home and wanted to check in how his first date had gone. Much to his horror, when she then informed him that he’d missed the last train, we couldn’t believe it- there was one scheduled in 5 minutes and we definitely hadn’t missed it! As it then dawned, that connecting train to Truro terminated there and the next Great Western to take him to Plymouth wasn’t due until 8am the next day. The last thing his mum said was “so you’ve got somewhere to stay? Hope you have a fun evening…” as she hung up and I assured him it was absolutely (if awkwardly) fine.

At this point, most people would assumed it was all part of an elaborate plan to stay over on the first date, but if you’d seen the look on his face, I’m 99% certain it was as much of a shock for him as it was for me!

All I kept thinking at this point was “what will my housemates say?!” and “we haven’t even kissed yet!”

After a stroll back home, we settled on the sofa in our kitchen where Phoebe had been eagerly waiting for us, despite my quick text explanation and request asking all housemates to vacate so it wouldn’t be awkward. What a babe.

Once she’d finally disappeared off, it was time to awkwardly pluck up the courage to suggest that he didn’t need to sleep on the sofa, which he was very chivalrous about and actually made me like him even more (take note boys!!) and we spent alllllll night chatting.

*by chatting I literally mean chatting too, and a little bit of kissing and cuddling, but not what you’re thinking, we were very good!

The next morning I had to exhaustedly drag myself to work or 8am after about 3 hours sleep, only to discover that I’d knocked over the glass with his contact lenses in over during the night, meaning he was literally blind and having to search around in a strange town for 3 hours on his own until his train at 11. With a flat battery and no idea where to find it, he ended up walking all the way to Penryn.